Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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