ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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