Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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