Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He's on the porch naked. Help.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
