There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You were trust falling into bushes
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
