dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
