i think my tv is drunk
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
