I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
