have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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