I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
