i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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