Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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