It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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