Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
