I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
