I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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