Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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