We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
