Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
