The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
