is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize