i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
