Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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