Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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