woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
