My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
