with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
