i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
