unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
