You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
