I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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