Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
