I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
