They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have aggressive nipples.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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