It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
