So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
