She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
