Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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