The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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