Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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