I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
