Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
