Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
