if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
