Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
