Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Are we still banned from the library?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
