A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
