I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
