I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
