wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Randomize