Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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