the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
