alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I love having hate sex.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
