Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
