I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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