I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Who died my cat blue again?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
