i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
is wine microwaveable?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
