i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
