Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
