he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
