I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
