Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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