nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
